Security & Happiness

Every Friday, Dennis Prager devotes an hour to the subject of happiness. On Friday February 25th, he made a point that startled me.

If your goal in life is to be happy, you will take risks in the pursuit of happiness.

If your goal in life is to be secure, you will avoid risks. You will not necessarily find happiness if your goal is to be secure.

Interesting point.

Dogs

"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in."

Mark Twain

Would You Like Cheese with Your Whine?

If you haven't seen "Things I Hate About My Flatmate" check it out. http://ihatemyflatmate.blogspot.com/

The blogger does not give access to the archive of old daily blogs so you need to keep up.

It's really a shame to miss some postings because the blogger can hit stride with wonderfully insightful and hilarious posts one right after the other.

Then the blogger will go through a dry spell where each new "I hate my flatmate" is a stretch for something new and not ... hmmm, frankly not interesting. At those times I get the MEGO effect (my eyes glass over).

But this blog is thought provoking. For me it is an illustration of irritation common in our daily life. We live with, work with, deal with people who are incompatible with us.

Some might wonder if they are compatible with anyone. In fact, I am suspicious of people who are friends with The Irritant.

I am being kind by using neutral terms to describe The Incompatible Irritants because in fact these people can drive me crazy.

I have good solid reasons for wanting to pinch their heads off. Yes, quite often it is a response to trivial discourtisies heaped up, piled on and overflowing until only saints and the developmentally disabled could overlook, not notice or forgive. Yes, I know I should just let it be. Better people than me have the strength of character to shut it out. I envy their internal peace.

But sometimes I just want to wage war on the snots of this world.

And I like sharp cheddar with my whine, thank you.

How Did We Come To This?

Why do so many Americans hate themselves?

Ward Churchill is the current poster child for this self-hatred.

When did it begin?

So many Americans place a heavy emphasis on pacifism in the face of relentless evil.

They would let others kill them so that they do not have to kill themselves. And as they die, it seems that they think only of dead Iraqi children. Not the ones that Saddam tortured and mutilated purposefully but the ones that Americans killed by accident. They see nothing good in their own culture or philosophy and want it to die.

Where is the self-esteem they were taught in public schools? What kind of mental illness is this?

Sometimes I think that it would be good for America to break up, for the central government to fall away and other more local governments to take up the banner. Then we the people could force out hatefilled university professors from educational institutions that do not serve the people anymore. We wouldn't have the national education association stealing money from across a continent and using its power against parents and children. We could take back the education of our children.

Without the burden of the elite class that lives like a parasite on the rest of us, we could have a new media. No more Dan Rathers.

We could leave the unbridled judges to preside over courts in other "countries" where their amoral philosophy was wanted and WE could have judges that had our best interests at heart.

But it wouldn't work. It is a pipe dream.

How did we ever come to this? Why do we have to put up with it now?

"Ooopps" -- The Art of the Accident

I am looking for a location to open my own dog grooming business.

Last month I terminated my business association with a "You Wash'Em Yourself" dog shop. Whew. What a relief.

Suzy the shop owner wanted to renegotiate our business relationship. She wanted:
* more money (read: a percentage of each grooming and a say in how much I charge),
* more control over my schedule (read: groom more dogs in a day, make more money for her), and/or
* more janitorial chores at the shop (read: she does less, gets more money).

She said that I had negotiated "too good a deal" for myself when SHE was vulnerable. (Sounds like a whine to me that I was not more responsible for her actions).

There was no benefit for me in this new offer.

So I declined the offer and we agreed to part company. I gave her 30 days notice so she could find a new groomer if she wanted.

No, she said, we would just freeze the schedule as it was and not accept new appointments at the shop.

The schedule was rather light at that point. I liked the idea because a light schedule would give me time to look for a location and get my business plan prepared.

And as soon as I accepted the "freeze the schedule" offer, she whined that I accepted a too-good offer for me.

Oh well, she said. It's my fault, she said, for making an offer that was not in MY best interests, she said.

Are you even awake? I thought.

Within four hours of agreeing to separate our businesses, she "accidentally" deleted all my client data base. Phone numbers. Grooming dates. Client details.

Oopps, she said. How stupid of me. No remorse. No emotion. No apology. She did not delete HER data base, just the grooming clients, my data base.

I was very angry and suspicious but I waited until I was alone and composed to consider the meaning and ramifications of this "accident."

The next day, I turned in my shop key and told her that I was leaving immediately because she had deleted all my data.

That was just stupid, she said in defense.

Yes, I understand, I said. Not an artful accident. Not believable.

A day later her lawyer sent a letter to shake me down for $350! It probably cost her that much to have the lawyer compose a letter. That is, if she were paying in cash rather than "in kind."

Now, she could have done almost everything better but she showed no competence in any action or position. Just an odd mixture of self-centeredness and self-sabotage.

Self-centered. Self-sabotage. It is illustrative that she has tatoos all over her body and parrot-red dyed hair. These upset her because people don't take her seriously. She complains bitterly that people who come to the shop don't recognise that SHE is the owner. They think that I am. Her family is upset that she permanently "mutilated" herself with tatoos. Her Texas rock-a-billy boyfriend is ashamed of her appearance and has difficulty making love to her with the light on. All of this is ripe territory for hours of whining.

Poor girl. I would feel sorry for her except for the attempt to shake me down for $350.

Even that is pitiful.