What Is It With The Current Fashions?

Another party to attend and here I am without the right dress -- yet again.

This dinner engagement calls for casual dressy or tasteful cocktail attire. My husband and his two partners throw an annual dinner at a nice restaurant in the foothills for just the six of us, the three partners and the wives.

Every year I vow that I will have something pretty and fashionable. Every year I make a half-hearted attempt at shopping. This year it was a mission. I could not have picked a worse fashion season.

So what is it with the current fashions?

Clothes at the mall are in lime green, electric blue, bright turquoise all in unflattering geometric patterns. Hip-hugging skirts with flared hems that look good only on very tall and very underweight girls.

The other end of the spectrum is the dowager dress department where clothes can be found suitable for either the Mother of the Bride or for open casket viewing of the deceased. These are in dusty lilac, sage green, and vomit taupe.

On one hand fashions are embellished to the maximum. An example is fringed false pockets at the hip to emphasize W I D T H. On the opposite side, we have sheaths guaranteed to emphasize the stuffed sausage look.

Look around you. Do you see females dressed in the current fashions? I saw one woman as I left the mall. I thought, her girlfriends should talk to her. A good girlfriend would be honest.

Here is my prediction: you will see this year's fashions in the thrift shop by autumn. If you really like this season's offering, wait until fall and get it at a deep discount.

Back From the Dog Show With All the Good Gossip

It may look as if I dropped off the face of the planet. I had last minute tax things to do and then a dog show in Louisville, Kentucky. About 1000 mile trip. Two days imprisoned in a van with three women-friends and four dogs. Four days round trip.

I say "imprisoned" because one of my girl-friends is a rabid political junkie. She watches every main stream media broadcast outlet and E! (Entertainment News) on cable and reads the local paper and People magazine for her news. She believes she knows everything and has the correct opinion on everything too. She does not hesitate to re-educate everyone in earshot.

But while I was away I had my nails *done*. Acrylic extensions. The whole nine yards. They look nice but I find it Next To Impossible to type with them.

While in Louisville I had dinner with my two cousins and my Aunt Ruth. So fun to see them again.

DOG SHOW NEWS AND GOSSIP:
It was tough competition. My friends from Texas won with their little bitch and got Best of Opposite with their champion.

My friend from Maryland won with his puppy dog but the next day got into a screaming match with my rabid friend. Exciting. (There's always some blow up or another in the grooming area at a dog show. At least one. Sometimes more. ) Everyone had to take sides on the relative merits of each party's argument.

The Sweepstakes judge is dating the divorced husband of a well-liked handler. All three were at the show. The judge is blonde and svelte. The former husband is tall and good looking. The handler used to be thin but is now grossly overweight. Rumor has it that he left her because she gained so much weight. The handler is devastated with grief and cries all the time. It was difficult because we had to make sure the two sides were not invited to the same parties.

The handler actually gained so much weight that she cannot work. She has applied to Social Security for disability but was turned down. She wants to get *the operation* to staple her stomach so she can lose weight but doesn't have insurance that will cover that.

This *stomach stapling operation* is all the rage in the dog world.

Two women from New York parked their van in the disabled spot. They are not disabled. They did not have a disabled sticker. They set up an exercise pen in their hotel room. Now for those of you who do not know what that means, let me interpret it for you: they were letting their dogs go potty in the room. Disgusting. They don't care. No amount of complaning or criticising will stop them.

Oh and they threw dog food all over the parking lot. Well, I guess the birds will eat it. But it was difficult when you stepped on the kibble and got it on the soles of your shoes.

The premier handler in the nation got Best of Breed but everyone expected that. The judge and this handler were at one time *an item* years ago but romantic ties are strong in the dog world. Or at least memories are long.

A vendor of scottie collectibles was avoided by all except those who are not *in the know*.

This vendor has screwed everyone. For example, they got the FedEx shipping account number of a guy who wanted something FedEx'ed to him for Christmas. These guys then used that account to ship ALL their Christmas orders. About $1000 worth of shipping charges. They said something like "Oooops. Made a mistake. Thought it was our own FedEx shipping account number." But they have not reimbursed the guy who got screwed. It is now May and the check has been in the mail since January.

Other folks have been screwed over too. Many people went to their booth and were demanding payment or reimbursement -- VERY LOUDLY. Wow, the fireworks were astounding.

Well, that's it for the gossip. I'm going to a dog show in Wyoming next month and I will bring back more news from the frontlines.